A Letter for Halloween

Some of you download and read the Letters to Nature Kids that I write periodically. They’re available within the “Publications” page. I may not post about each one, so they may be overlooked by some who might want to read them. (Parents or teachers might download them and pass them along to kids, but adults read them at least sometimes.) This time I thought I’d put in a word for the Halloween issue.

The first thing I thought about was, of course, how we hijack things in nature, presenting them in ways that make them fearful. Bats, spiders, owls and such. On the one hand, I don’t want to get on my high horse and spoil the fun. I even tried to join in the fun a little by saying: “Bats live in the opposite of the bright daytime world in which we see and hear birds. When people think of angels, they give them feathered wings, but images of demons often have bat wings.”

On the other hand, after Halloween is over, kids should not be left with fears of these things. So I said, “People make up stories, either for fun or as a way to try to explain what they don’t really understand.”

The issue I feel most strongly about is kids (or anyone, for that matter) who take it too far. Halloween should not be an excuse to badly scare some child. I said, “It can be fun to be scared just a little, when we’re with friends and we know the scary thing isn’t real. … Sadly, some people enjoy scaring others because it makes them feel more powerful or stronger than the person that they scared. I’m not talking about kids having fun with each other, I’m talking about a person who enjoys seeing someone really afraid in a way that’s not fun. That’s bullying and it is not OK. Stay away from someone like that.”

If you know someone who might enjoy this Halloween issue, download it and pass it along. And have a safe, fun Halloween!

The Emotional Cost of Climate Change

“To sharpen our gaze is to behold not only the passing beauty of this world, but also its deep suffering, and I’m afraid of the pain and purgation such vision will entail, that it will break my heart open in ways I’ve only begun to fathom.”

Fred Bahnson

We know the trouble we are in, and we feel the stress of it. The Sixth Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) tells us that human-induced climate change has caused widespread damage to nature and people. This does not just represent normal weather variability. Over 3 billion people live in situations that make them very vulnerable to climate change, and a “high proportion” of species is vulnerable. Further, “current unsustainable development patterns” are increasing our danger.

The danger includes more wildfires in various parts of the world, “100-year” floods now happening every few years, glaciers melting, stronger and more frequent hurricanes, drought, and extreme heat. Warmer climates allow mosquitoes and other pests to thrive, leading to disease for humans and trees (milder winters let bark beetle populations expand).

Our sense of safety erodes and the world feels less familiar as we watch world leaders make excuses and see too many fellow humans who are unconcerned or too preoccupied with their immediate challenges to take action. That can lead to helplessness and despair if we’re not careful.

How did we get here?

How did we get to a point where things are so crazy? Who is to blame? We elect leaders, we use fossil fuels and buy all kinds of stuff – are we to blame? I’ve been on the planet for over seventy years, surely there’s more that I should have done. On the other hand, we were born into a culture of growth and consumption. Many of the world’s cultures see nature as a sort of big-box store where it’s all for sale and the more you buy, the higher your status. Western culture enshrines unending economic growth as the only possible path to a satisfying life. It’s hard to swim against those cultural currents. And no matter how much I recycle or try to live “off the grid,” the fracking wells keep getting drilled and Congress keeps giving about $20 billion a year to the fossil fuel industry.

We can’t wait for the culture to change. The culture is us, even if each individual is a drop in the ocean. But we do what we can, even if it’s just for our own sense of integrity. And we reach out to others, pulling drops together until we fill a bucket, and buckets become waves, until we can get something done. Our actions can be guided by what is good for more than just “me,” we can place the well-being of living things above the acquisition of more things, and we can be satisfied with what we have.

The toll it takes

The damage to the planet takes a heavy toll on us, whether we’re watching from the sidelines or working hard in climate activism. A report from the American Psychological Association and others discussed the impact of the anxiety and loss that people are experiencing. There can be trauma from climate-worsened disasters such as tornadoes, floods, and fires. Sometimes the images and fear of future harm can lead to pre-traumatic stress.

There can be a loss of a physical place (a home, a favorite creek, a glacier, etc.), and a person may experience pain and longing when such a place is gone. Such an experience has been termed “solastalgia.” In the opening chapter of Richard Louv’s Last Child in the Woods, there is a fifth-grade girl whose loss of an important place sounds like solastalgia. The girl loved being out in nature:

“I had a place. There was a big waterfall and a creek on one side of it. I’d dug a hole there, and sometimes I’d take a tent back there, or a blanket, and just lie down in the hole, and look up at the trees and sky. Sometimes I’d fall asleep back in there. I just felt free; it was like my place, ….

“And then they just cut the woods down. It was like they cut down part of me.”

– Last Child in the Woods, p.14

Some environmental losses may be very significant, even when they are on a smaller scale than melting glaciers or burned forests. 

Many people are experiencing anxiety and other emotions. A survey of 10,000 teenagers and young adults in various countries found that 59% of them were very or extremely worried about climate change. Most had feelings such as sadness, anxiety, anger, helplessness, and guilt. 

It’s not just the kids. Many of us – whatever our age – are grieving for the loss of a healthy and familiar climate. This past summer reminded us how much has already changed, and how we took for granted summer days when you could take a walk or work in the garden without risking heat stroke. We might not have thought about how good it was to live in the old climate. With the new climate, we watch the sense of normal and safe begin to slip, and it’s slipping on a planet-wide basis. 

Is it too late?

In some places, especially among young people, you hear considerable hopelessness about climate. We have missed many opportunities to act, and the further we go, the harder it will be to slow down that enormous freight train of climate warming. The question that keeps coming up is, “are we doomed?”

A recent book by Rebecca Solnit, Thelma Young Lutunatabua and other contributors has the title “Not Too Late.” It is certainly not an optimistic book, if optimism is believing everything will be OK, don’t worry. Solnit writes that “to hope is to accept despair as an emotion but not as an analysis.” She makes the case that there are still possibilities for action and she reminds us of all the times that something looked impossible until it actually happened. Public opinion has shifted, over $40 trillion has been divested from fossil fuels, and renewable energy is becoming more feasible and affordable. The outcomes are still uncertain; the authors’ point is not that everything will be fine. Maybe it won’t. But uncertainty means that things could turn out better than our fears suggest.

Taking care of ourselves

Even if we accept that things are not hopeless, we are still left with more frequent, climate-driven catastrophes and losses. What do we do about the resulting grief and anxiety? We can share grief – including grief for losses we see coming – with trusted others. We can put anxieties into words and make them more manageable. We can figure out ways to keep from being overwhelmed and actions that reduce our sense of helplessness. 

There are already some avenues for doing this, such as the “Climate Cafés” provided through the Climate Psychology Alliance. These are online gatherings where people can discuss climate fears and anxieties, led by the Alliance’s facilitators. There is also the Good Grief Network, “a peer-to-peer support group for people overwhelmed by eco-anxiety, climate grief, and other experiences of eco-distress” (quoting from their website). At least in Texas, all such events are available online only. 

I recently started a small face to face discussion group where we can talk about environmental anxieties and grief. There are real advantages to talking with a few trusted others in a situation where we feel heard and understood. The group is for adults – people 18 years old or older. Children’s understanding of these issues and ways of coping with them and expressing feelings about them are somewhat different, so the group does not include children.

My professional career and training has been in psychology and I am a licensed Psychological Associate. That does not mean that this is group therapy, and participants are not clients. I simply support and facilitate our discussion and gently keep us within the boundaries of supporting each other and encouraging self-expression. There is no charge for the group.

One of the central issues for the group will likely be what we can do to take care of ourselves. I recently wrote about coping with the record-breaking heat this summer and I outlined the following ways to help cope with the anxiety and loss:

  • Express yourself – talking, journaling, drawing, etc. Most things are easier to carry when we share them with people who listen with empathy. Writing in a journal or drawing are other helpful modes of self-expression.
  • Practice mindfulness and acknowledge beauty. When in natural settings, paying attention to the present moment, with an attitude of acceptance, is a helpful way to let go of persistent thoughts and emotions. The beauty we find in flowers, a woodland, or a sunset reminds us of the good that still exists.
  • Accept uncertainty. Mindfulness is a good way to work on this one. It is hard to live with uncertainty, but letting go helps more than trying to control what is not controllable. We can still take helpful action (see below) but with less struggle.
  • Engage and act. We can easily feel helpless with a problem this big and complex. It helps to find something to do (as noted above, drops come together to fill buckets and buckets become waves). We can be part of something bigger, such as Arlington Conservation Council, 350.org, or other groups.
  • Find a therapist. If things become too heavy, we can seek out a counselor or therapist. Climate Psychology Alliance-North America maintains a climate-aware therapist directory.

It’s easy to be anxious or sad in an uncertain climate future, with painfully slow progress in fighting climate disruption. If those are your feelings, you’re not alone. A recent poll by the American Psychiatric Association found that more than two-thirds of Americans are “somewhat” or “extremely” anxious about climate change. Do what you can, find a community of people who understand, and take care of yourself. 


(The epigraph at the beginning of this article is from Fred Bahnson’s “The Ecology of Prayer” (2017) in Orion, v.36 No.4. More information about my climate grief/anxiety group can be found on the climate anxiety & grief page of this website. This article was also published in the November issue of The Post Oak, newsletter of the Arlington Conservation Council)

How It Works

Sharing the adventure, being a partner in discovering the world, feeling the excitement when the fish stirs beneath the water – the joy and wonder are mine, too, because we are connected.

We are connected by experience together, the shared looks and little acts of attunement. I step up to help or protect and she answers with confidence, love, or protest, and the dialogue continues.

She is on the ground observing an inchworm and I sit with her. Afterward, she climbs the boulders while holding my hand, and so I am the scaffolding that keeps her upright, her partner again.

Fearlessly pushing her coordination and balance to the limit,  she has that smile that says, “I got this,” and she does for a while. When she falls, I comfort her, safe harbor and a little repair and back out again.

Words and roles change, the scaffolding takes other forms at different ages. But shared looks, partnership, those little acts of attunement, with understanding and empathy – that’s always how love works.

A Night on Greer Island

(For Halloween, I’m sharing a story I wrote some years back, based on a favorite place, a crazy legend of the ‘goat man,’ and those who may get a little too caught up in such stories, crouching over a fire and gibbering to themselves.)


The car windows were down as I crossed the bridge back over Lake Worth, and the Allman Brothers were on the CD player.  After all this time, still putting out high-energy rock and roll, with the new release taking me back to 1969 when “Eat a Peach” came out.  The wind whipped by as I exited for the Nature Center.

After an autumn day looking for reptiles and amphibians, a group of us had called it quits and headed home.  However, once on the road I realized we had not picked up some minnow traps we put out at Greer Island.  A minnow trap is a sort of wire mesh bucket with a wire funnel leading in from each end.  In the hands of herpetologists, minnow traps don’t catch minnows so much as frogs and snakes.  We placed several of them in shallow water along the island’s shore, partly exposed so that anything that got in could breathe.  However, I could not leave any animals trapped, and so I was headed back into the Fort Worth Nature Center and Refuge.

As I drove along the road at the edge of the lake, Greg Allman sang:

“Can’t you feel a cold wind is howlin’ down, blowin’ my song?

Well I ain’t an old man, but you know my time ain’t long.”

I thought about the cold wind that would soon be blowing on the refuge as fall changed to winter.  Oh well, I was ready for a change.  The end of summer had been unusually humid, and cool weather would feel good.

The sunset glow still provided some light as I walked the causeway to Greer Island.  The wind picked up, scattering yellow cottonwood leaves to drift down through the remaining light.  I felt a slight shiver.  The thought of walking around alone on Greer Island in the gathering dark did not bother me, did it?  I’ve been on the island many times, and it is as peaceful as any other part of the refuge.  Maybe that Allman Brothers line about a cold wind howling down had gotten to me.

On the island, I pulled the first minnow trap up from where it had been nestled beside a fallen tree branch at the water’s edge.  Inside was a water snake, its chocolate brown scales glistening as it frantically tried to find a way out.  I put on the gloves, unfastened the trap and reached inside.  The snake writhed and bit at the glove, with the small needle-sharp teeth barely penetrating to my skin.  Although nonvenomous, water snakes defend themselves by repeatedly biting and by expelling a nasty-smelling musk.  I wanted to get this done as soon as I could.  Just before I released him, up came a small leopard frog the snake had eaten earlier in the day.  “More data for the survey,” I thought, as I recorded the details of both snake and frog.

I searched for the next minnow trap with my flashlight, as it had now gotten dark.  Pushing through buttonbush and stepping carefully among the deadfall, I squished through the saturated ground to the next trap.  When I found it, it was open.  This was very puzzling, because the two halves of the trap fasten pretty securely.  I looked around, certainly not expecting to see something.  No one else should be on the island at night, and besides, it was ridiculous to think that just because the trap was open, someone had opened it.

More wind whispered and sighed through the treetops, and the flashlight’s beam caught the flicker of a few more leaves fluttering to the forest floor.  I reached the site of the third trap, but did not see it in the water.  I moved the light around and caught a flash of metal.  There!  Hanging from a tree branch was a tangle of smashed wire dripping in the flashlight beam – the minnow trap!  My hands felt numb and the two other traps dropped from my fingers to the ground. Not bothering to pick them up, I turned and walked quickly back toward the trail.  I wanted out of there in a hurry.  I pushed through underbrush and spider web, resisting the urge to run and trying to keep my bearings.  The flashlight illuminated a narrow section of woods, and everywhere else the darkness seemed menacing.  Some of the fear dissipated as I walked, and I emerged into an upland area where the woodland was less thick and the image of the mangled minnow trap was less immediate.

Finding the trail, I set out toward the causeway.  Just a little bit now, I reassured myself, and I would be walking on that narrow strip of dirt and gravel under the stars toward the safety of the car.  The path re-entered thicker forest and I concentrated on the circle of light from the flashlight.  I kept it on the trail, unwilling to risk a glance to either side.  The dirt path narrowed, understory shrubs and then tree trunks increasingly closing in.  The trail ended!  I must have gotten turned around, I told myself, but there were no trails on the island that simply ended.  I turned, backtracked, and shone the light around.  Nothing but oak and understory shrubs around me.  Finally it occurred to me to get into the backpack for the GPS.  It constantly plotted my path on its screen, like an electronic version of the trail of bread crumbs in “Hansel & Gretel.”  I had used it on more than one occasion to help me backtrack through the forest.  As I felt inside the pack for the GPS, I heard something some distance away.  It was something like the wail of a large animal, rising in misery and then strangled in a series of barking or coughing sounds.  I was frozen for a moment, staring stupidly at the flashlight beam shining where I had set it down, illuminating a tangle of greenbrier and Virginia creeper.  Another wail pierced the forest, greater in intensity and ending in several guttural cries like shouts of rage.

Snatching up the flashlight, I ran back along the trail and then cut through a small clearing in the direction I thought I should go.  My mind raced back to another memory from 1969 – what was it?  The Lake Worth monster?  A goat-man that had been seen numerous times but never found?  The memory was cut short as I tripped over a downed branch and fell.  I picked myself up and tried to run again, but a snare of entangling greenbrier brought me down like a staked dog reaching the end of its tether.  I made a bleeding mess of my hands trying to pull the tough, thorny vines away and then finally yanked free.  Back on my feet, I set off in a blind panic, the GPS lying useless in the dirt somewhere behind me.

I’m not sure how far I ran, and I’m even less sure of the direction.  As I staggered breathlessly up to a higher elevation, the roof of a small pavilion came into view.  My heart sank.  This structure, with its concrete slab and two protective walls, was far from where I wanted to be.  I took a few more steps up the slope, and saw the glow of a small fire burning on the concrete floor.  The fire itself was obscured by someone or something sitting with its back to me.

I hesitated.  The figure poked the small fire in front of it, without turning toward me.

“Ain’t no gittin away, try as y’might.”  The high, thin voice spoke as if we were in mid-conversation.  It had some of the hard edge of a threat, but the unsteady quality of a man barely containing his excitement, or maybe fear.  Still I stood immobile, wary of doing anything.

“Sit right still, he’ll come,” he added, while drawing distractedly on the concrete with his stick.

I turned and ran, and after me came his high, unsteady shout: “Ain’t no gittin away!”  And as if in answer, over to my left came another screeching cry, clipped off and followed by two short bellows of fury.  I heard a large branch snap, up in the treetops.  I turned and focused the light to see a large figure in the trees, eyeshine reflecting back at me.  And then it dropped straight out of the treetops and out of sight.  Running away from it would take me away from the causeway.  My way out was blocked.

I crouched by a log in dense brush, waiting and trying to think.  Bits and pieces of old news accounts returned to me.  In 1969 there had been a series of frightening encounters with residents describing something half-man, half-goat covered with light gray fur and scales.  Once it was said to have jumped out of a tree and onto a car parked at Greer Island.  On another occasion, several bystanders at Lake Worth watched it until it supposedly hurled a car wheel (tire, rim and all) 500 feet in their direction.  The mystery had never been solved.

My thoughts were shattered by a voice right beside me – “Ain’t no gittin away, told ye.”  I jumped and fell backward in leaf litter and twigs, and when I was able to sit up I saw the old man from the pavilion.  His eyes were too wide open and they darted around, not really connecting with mine.  He had a desperate look about him, and he was covered with filth.  As I started to say something, he swung a bag with something heavy in it, like gravel, and clubbed me.

In my next moment of awareness, I was slung over his shoulder watching the ground go by as he carried me.  My wrists were bound.  My captor was muttering crazily, “Billy brekkist, Billy lunch, he’ll come, oh yes.”  We reached the pavilion and he put me down, and then set busily to work tying me to a support pole.  Here and there he paused to look at me with a sick grin that exposed broken teeth and receding gums.  

He sat down beside the flickering little fire and looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for some sort of performance.  Away and to the side, I saw lightning flash on the horizon.

“Billy!  He’ll come – oh yes oh yes.  You’ll see.”

In the nearby woods, another wail – chopped, at the end, into staccato yells.  The old man became agitated, gibbering “Billy, Billy, Billy, no gittin – no!”  He backed away and stumbled into the darkness, eyes as big as saucers.

Why did he keep repeating that name?  And suddenly it hit me!  It was the children’s story about the goats who try to cross the bridge where the troll lives.  I was the bait, and he was going to catch his billy goat.

I exhaled as far as I could, rolled my shoulders forward, and dropped down.  The first loop of rope slipped, and I started working out of the bonds that held me.  My captor flew into a rage, squealing “No gittin, no gittin!” as he jumped back up onto the concrete.  As he got close enough, I kicked him away.  I slid further down, escaping more of the rope and then was able to get free.  My tormentor made another run at me, screeching “No gittin! No – no!”

Just then, an enormous form jumped in front of me, hitting the old man with such force that they both rolled ten feet away.  There was a sickening sound of snapping bones.  I looked toward them and in the dim firelight I got a glimpse of fur and horn – and a head turned and stared at me for an instant with the horizontal slitted eyes of a goat.  

I leapt away from this horror and ran through the woods, branches and vines slapping me as I went.  Somewhere I found the trail and was able to go faster.  Behind me a long wail arose, riding on a gust of wind.  Lightning flashed.  I was aware of noise in the treetops, but could not tell if the trees were disturbed by wind or by some terror pursuing me.  The trail widened and big raindrops began to spatter down among the leaves.  I followed the bend in the road and emerged onto the causeway.

The rain came down in sheets as I reached the car and got in.  As the cold wind blew through the treetops, I made my way out of the refuge.  I could not get the old man’s shrill voice out of my head as I drove along Shoreline Drive.  I had not gone very far through the heavy rain when a gust of wind blew something onto the road in front of me.  I stopped the car and leaned over the steering wheel to look.  It was a minnow trap.


“Billy goat for breakfast; Billy goat for lunch

Billy goat, Billy goat, munch, munch, munch”

Summer at the Preserve, 2023

I wrote several posts over the summer at Sheri Capehart Nature Preserve, describing how summer got started and where it went in a season of record heat driven no doubt by the climate that we are wrecking. Those posts are put together here and lightly edited from the originals which appeared on Substack.

A Forest of Monarda, June 11th

Well maybe “forest” isn’t quite right when talking about the various flowering plants in the genus Monarda, known as bee balm. But the spotted bee balm (Monarda punctata, sometimes called spotted horsemint) had grown tall at Sheri Capehart Nature Preserve in Arlington – some plants at least four feet tall. Seemed sorta forest-like.

Flower head of a spotted bee balm, with a wasp browsing the flowers

I love seeing spotted bee balm. The flower head looks like a series of flowers stacked one on top of the other. Those pale, often purple-tinged things are not flower petals, they’re bracts. Bracts are modified leaves with a flower (or cluster of flowers) where the bract attaches to the stem. The real flowers are pale yellow with tiny dark polka-dots. Thus “spotted” bee balm! 

The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center says that spotted bee balm grows from 6 inches to almost three feet, but several of the ones I saw on June 10 were between three and four feet. They’re having a really good year at the preserve.

Spotted bee balm along the trail

Buzzing around all these flowers were honeybees, native bees, and a variety of wasps. There were a number of red paper wasps (Polistes carolina) visiting the bee balm, and I took careful note of them as I brushed through some of the plants. What I’ve read and experienced about these wasps – that they’re pretty nonaggressive unless you threaten a nest – had to compete with all the stories people tell of how bad the sting hurts. 

A red paper wasp visiting the bee balm

We got along just fine; I watched out not to directly bump into them, and they didn’t bother me. 

On the way to the ridge top, the trail passes through woodland with a little more closed canopy, and there, on the trunk of a big oak, was a Texas spiny lizard (Sceloporus olivaceus). He was watching me, possibly a little like I had watched the red wasps, as if to ask, “Are we gonna have any trouble here?” Not from me – I love these athletic tree-climbers and always try to approach them slowly for a closer look. 

Male Texas spiny lizard

I say “he” because of the vaguely striped pattern on his back. The female pattern is broken up by jagged black crossbars that break up the stripes. When I got a little too close, he skittered to the side of the tree, raised his body and gave me a few head bobs to show me who’s boss. That let me see some of the blue breeding colors that males get along the chest. 

The other noticeable thing about this lizard was the last couple of inches of his tail, which was different in texture and color from the rest. At some point he had lost that part of his tail, probably as a predator made a grab for him and got only a bit of broken tail. It’s a great survival strategy, having a tail that fairly easily breaks so that you lose your tail rather than your life. It grows back, but with cartilage rather than bones and with a different appearance.

Reaching the top of the ridge, I found a shady spot and wrote about some of what I had seen. I also looked at the high-altitude edge of what looked like a storm cell to the southeast. There had been predictions of storms in our area as the afternoon heated up. In the shade the temperature at the preserve was 93 degrees (with a 54% relative humidity). Not only was it getting hot, the preserve was also dry. The leaves on all those bee balms were drooping and the petals of black-eyed susan flowers were a little shriveled. But the storm cell to the southeast drifted off and no rain fell.

Standing cypress among the spotted bee balm

I know a spot on the back side of a little loop trail at the top of the hill where standing cypress (Ipomopsis rubra) likes to grow. Here and there among the bee balm and other plants there was a stem of standing cypress with its bright scarlet flowers. In another spot, a big tiger swallowtail added more bright colors, and woods was animated by plenty of other butterflies. There were hairstreaks, hackberry emperors, and common buckeyes. 

A common buckeye (Junonia coenia)

All this visual beauty was matched by the aural beauty of bird song. Carolina wrens were calling in more than one place, and they were joined by cardinals, Bewick’s wren, and a white-eyed vireo. 

There was one other sound: the song of summer, the long, pulsing drone of insects in the trees. This is how a hot summer day in Texas sounds. It has been the background song of many a June or July day at the creek, and I suspect that I could start to sweat just by hearing it. The months are slipping by and it’s nearly mid-June. Summer has found us, and I am grateful. 

(But my gratitude for summer did not last long.)

An Orb-weaver

The following day we did get rain, so I took a walk this morning, June 12th, to two of the ponds at the preserve. Among the numerous wonders I ran into (almost literally) was an orb-weaving spider. More about that later.

Walking the trail to the north pond, right away I passed a small exposed slope with pink flowers among the spotted bee balm and black-eyed susan. Those pink flowers are “meadow pink,” or “Texas star,” or if you prefer, “prairie rose gentian.” Gosh, it’s confusing enough to make you want to swear off common names and just use the scientific name, Sabatia campestris. 

A woodland opening with several flower species, including “meadow pink”

Closer to the pond, I saw a turtle in the path ahead of me. It was a red-eared slider (Trachemys scripta elegans), and I jumped to the conclusion that it was looking for a spot to lay eggs. And then I got a little closer and saw that this turtle was fairly melanistic, meaning that the bright yellows and greens that dominate the turtle’s pattern are obscured by dark pigment. Old melanistic males completely lose the red patch at the back of the head and are primarily olive and charcoal colored. What were the chances that this was a wandering male? Wherever the turtle was going, I didn’t want to disturb him or her, so I did not pick the turtle up for a closer look. 

The red-eared slider

The north pond was edged with floating mats of water primrose, or floating primrose-willow. Oh, goodness, here we go again – we’ll just call it Ludwigia peploides. According to iNaturalist, it propagates so easily that it is found in North and South America as well as parts of the Old World. It is beautiful but it also grows so well that it can get out of hand. 

The pond is filling with Ludwigia, the plant with the yellow flowers

I sat beside a willow tree and checked the temperature, which was 78 degrees. Above us was a thin cloud deck, and the relative humidity was 74%. It felt comfortable to sit there, listening to a cricket frog calling nearby and a northern cardinal calling from somewhere toward the ridge. A couple of red-eared sliders swam under the surface of the pond. 

An orb-weaving spider in her web, with breakfast

Walking back, I took the trail through the woods. Walking among the post oaks and blackjack oaks, I passed a burrow entrance just the right size for an armadillo and then almost walked into a spider web spun across the trail. The owner of the web was having breakfast at the time, and I was only able to get a look at her underside. As a result, my friend and spider expert Meghan Cassidy was reluctant to identify the spider any more specifically than the family Araneidae (orb-weavers).

There was a time that I would have panicked if I walked through a spider web, and I’m still not at all a fan of getting a face full of spider. However, years of time in the field, looking for reptiles and amphibians in places where a side order of spider just happens sometimes, have helped a great deal. The pre-eminent treatment for phobia is called exposure therapy, and it involves having some sort of repeated exposure to the feared thing. Hopefully this happens gradually in a supportive and safe context, which is how it happened for me. And so today, I was able to appreciate this little arachnid and her breakfast (which might have been an ant or small wasp). 

At about 10:30am I walked to the other end of the preserve to look for turtles off the dock of the fishing pond. Along the way, an open area had scattered basketflowers and several lemon bee balm (the other Monarda that we see at the preserve, this one Monarda citriodora). Once again the plant gives the appearance of several flowers stacked on top of each other, with lavender bracts surrounding clusters of flowers. 

Lemon bee balm, or purple horsemint (or any of several other common names)

At the fishing pond I looked in the usual spots and did not see any turtles basking. I have seen the red-eared sliders and river cooters in that pond almost enough to know their names, if they gave themselves names, but I’ll have to wait until next time to see them.

The Heat Ramps Up

The need for a little exercise and time in nature and/or my oppositional nature led me to visit the preserve on the morning of the 26th, excessive heat warnings or not. (It was morning and I took water and a hat; it was OK.)

I walked, then stopped for a while and sat in the shade (I also took a camp stool) to be quiet and mindful of things around me. Here is roughly what I wrote in my journal, starting at 9:25am:

On my walk through the woodlands, there was a big funnel-web spider sitting on her front porch, outside of that silken tornado-like funnel that leads down into the leaves near the base of a little oak. I heard a chickadee call and the call of a Blanchard’s cricket frog from nearby.

The funnel weaver, with the lady just visible in the foreground

At the north pond, I sat quietly in the shade for twelve minutes starting at 9:36am. I noticed that the Ludwigia (water primrose) was still luxuriant in the pond, with pretty yellow flowers. I heard a cricket frog calling, possibly the same one I heard earlier. While it didn’t spoil the experience, I also heard the ever-present traffic noise from the nearby street. There was also a train’s horn, and later what sounded like a jet engine winding up for takeoff. Dragonflies darted over the pond, and a swallow swooped down across the pond’s surface. Two turtle heads, probably red-eared sliders, poked above the water, and late in my observation a fish broke the pond surface as it jumped. 

A little breeze – for which I was grateful – blew a few leaves from the nearby willow trees. They spun as they floated down in a clear blue sky. At the end, the heat was close and sticky, and the temperature was 86F and relative humidity 73%.

Next, I walked up to the ridge. Along the way I passed an orb weaver sitting with her prey in full sunlight, and no doubt getting pretty warm. The round web was fascinating, as they always are, and especially nice since I had not run into it. The owner of the web was of a harmless species of orb weaver.

The very warm orb weaver

Further on there was a Texas spiny lizard that quickly skittered around the tree trunk. Here and there, a white-mouth dayflower still bloomed, and the spotted bee balm still lined the trails and grew in little woodland openings. Some was going to seed while a few had straggling flowers still hanging on.

Spotted bee balm

I heard, with Merlin’s help, several northern cardinals, a painted bunting, and Carolina wren. I would love to have seen the painted bunting!

At the top of the ridge, I sat on that camp stool for another 12 minutes to take in what was going on around me. From below, I could still hear traffic noise, but there were other sounds as well. Insects were droning from nearby trees, and a Carolina wren called repeatedly. Later there were some calls from a northern cardinal. 

It was calm, hot and sticky. Occasionally there was a little breeze. (Just before I settled in, I checked the temperature which was 90.3F and the humidity – up higher and away from water – a lower 66%.)

In patches of sandy soil along the sandstone of the ridge, clumps of little bluestem had thin, blue-green leaves – some more powder-blue or even washed with lavender. Some of them were sending up their tall stems. Just over the top of the ridge, a fox squirrel made its way through the shade of a nearby oak with its tail twitching. A couple of paper wasps cruised around the leaves of that same oak; one then flew toward me, turning at the last moment. It seems to me that their vision for obstacles is not wonderful.

At the top of the ridge

On the way back down the hillside, I passed a bowl-and-doily spider and approached for a look. The webs are pretty unmistakeable, in the shape of a bowl suspended over a sheet that suggests an old-fashioned doily. The maker of all this was at home, suspended upside down under the bowl. 

I left the rapidly-warming preserve at 10:44am.


By my measurements, taken in the shade, the heat was not excessive but the “feels like” temperature was supposed to reach 114F later on, and so it was reassuring to see so much life going on at the preserve. There was a lot to see, hear and feel in a couple of short walks and a couple of 12-minute periods of stillness.

Wishing everyone, humans and other than humans, the best as we go through record-breaking heat under this heat dome in Texas.

A Morning Wander, July 11th

Once again we were early in a week that was supposed to get quite hot. It was humid on this day, which might send the “feels like” temperature up to 110°F later on. But mid-morning was a different story, with cloud cover and a good breeze.

I started to wander the preserve at 10:15am, and right at the edge of the parking lot I was pulled toward a favorite – silverleaf nightshade (Solanum elaeagnifolium). “Nightshade” seems a bit dark, doesn’t it? The Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center says it is an “aggressive, poisonous weed.” Well, yes, it is toxic (though evidently indigenous people had some medicinal uses for it), but don’t overlook those beautiful lavender star-shaped flowers with the clusters of five or six bright yellow “fingers” (stamens) pointing out from the center. The five-pointed lavender stars look like they’re made from a fine, crinkly crepe. And “silverleaf” refers to those narrow, folded leaves with little hairs that make them look a little silvery. Distant relatives include the tomato as well as the potato, so let’s have a little respect for the nightshade!

Silverleaf nightshade

I pulled myself away and walked to the north shore of the big pond, where I sat for 15 minutes. I had just measured the temperature at 77.5°F, with humidity 76%. With that much moisture in the air, it could rapidly become very muggy, especially since the clouds were breaking up and I sat in bright sunshine. The breeze helped a lot. Looking to the east, the pond surface was covered with bright sparkling ripples reflecting the sun, as if a net of diamonds had been thrown over the surface. To the west, the surface was a rippled deep blue-gray.

The big pond, looking west

Dragonflies flew ceaselessly among the cattails. There were male widow skimmers with their dark brown and white wing spots, and other species as well. Sitting and watching dragonflies in flight is a great pastime. The ones I watched hung on to perches despite a stiff breeze, they flew forward into the breeze when they felt like it and then slipped back the other direction. Sometimes one dropped from the sky, navigating tall plant stalks and other obstacles to go to a preferred perch. I watched a dragonfly glide on fixed wings, occasionally flitting them rapidly to change direction or speed. It seemed effortless and graceful. It turns out that dragonflies can fly just in just about any direction they want, including backward.

A widow skimmer from an earlier visit

While this dragonfly ballet was going on, a red-eared slider turtle surfaced about eight feet away, floating in the water and getting some air. Facing my direction, much of what I could see was that chin with its light yellow-green lines that divide into a sort of wish-bone shape a little further back. After a few breaths, her head disappeared below the surface and she swam off. A couple of butterflies visited. A skipper (these tend to be smaller than other butterflies, with chunkier bodies and antennae with tiny hooks at the end) landed on my backpack, maybe in search of a little salt. Northern cardinals provided an active soundtrack, and the Merlin app identified a barn swallow among the cardinals.

I moved on at 10:50am, walking up the boulder trail and saying hello to a couple of people who were resting on a boulder. They told me that they were doing cardio and enjoying the blue trail and agreed that it was a great day to be out here.

On the way to the yucca meadow I passed a part of the trail where there were small yellow flowers (some of them bitterweed and some that I didn’t know). Many of the flowers held a small beetle, apparently in the Acmaeodera genus, and in each one yellow color appears in an irregular pattern across a dark background.

The yucca meadow

At the yucca meadow, the land abruptly drops a couple of feet into what you might think of as an enormous sandbox. The sand is deep, and if you step away from the trail (please don’t) the sand crust usually shifts a little, as if little underground pockets and tunnels were collapsing. A thin growth of wildflowers, Glen Rose yucca, and bull nettle grow across this sandy meadow. It also supports a big population of Comanche harvester ants (Pogonomyrmex comanche). These are one of the “big red ants” that old-timers remember as once being common in north Texas, but the Comanche harvester is specialized. As described by Dr. Ann Mayo in the Post Oak & Prairie Journal Vol. 1#1, it only nests in deep-sand prairies surrounded by oak woodland. The yucca meadow is perfect for this species, and they make great use of it.

Comanche harvester ants

Out of the meadow at 11:30am and under a small grove of oaks, the temperature had climbed to 87.3°F, but the relative humidity had fallen to a more forgiving 55%.  It was time to walk back, and at the parking lot I ran into the two women I had spoken with earlier. They said they had a good walk and one remarked “my spirit is filled with joy” on walks like this. What a wonderful observation!

Peace and (Relative) Quiet

This year, summer stretches from June 21st to September 23rd. And so, friends, I must tell you that on July 23rd we were only a third of the way through this sizzling summer. For many of us, it was just not possible to hole up somewhere with air conditioning and wait it out. Walking in the woods and sitting by a pond somewhere would not wait.

The temperature in Arlington started out in the low 70’s and so I took my opportunity for another ramble. (The Oxford Languages website says that to “ramble” is “to walk for pleasure, typically without a definite route.”) I got started at 8:45am, stopping along the yellow trail under the oaks on the hillside to see how things were going. In the shade it was 75˚F and a muggy 69% humidity.

I’m a big fan of natural quiet, the sort of thing that lets us hear breezes and bird calls without interfering noise from traffic or lawn mowers. I’ve begun using an app that uses my iPhone to measure sound in dBA. That’s decibels, roughly corresponding to loudness, “A-weighted” to be more relevant to the frequencies that we can all hear. As I sat listening to nearby traffic and a small airplane competing with the calls of a tufted titmouse, Carolina chickadee, and blue jay, the average sound level was 39dBA, but in my brief sample it got as high as 43.6 dBA.

An iPhone’s microphone is not a professional instrument for measuring sound, so that could be a limitation, but I’m assuming that the measurements are fairly close. For comparison, a whisper is about 25 dBA and a normal conversation is about 60-70 dBA.

Spanish gold, Grindelia papposa

Meanwhile, I had noticed how the Spanish gold, a tall plant with sawtoothed leaves and pretty yellow flowers, was coming into its own. In most places with a good diversity of plants, the seasons unfold in stages, one group of plants giving way to the next. In spring, bee balm was growing tall and flowering in so many places. Now, settling into midsummer, the pages turned and plants like Maximilian sunflower and Spanish gold took off. Another name for Spanish gold is “saw-leaf daisy” and that describes those spiny teeth along the leaves quite well.

The ghosts of spring bee balm

Climbing the hillside on the boulder trail, the exertion made it feel hot already at 9:06am, and the insect chorus had started a little, making it officially summer-like. I noticed that it was a busy morning for DFW International airport, as a passing jet registered as 53.9 dBA. As each jet faded in the distance, another approached, and at one point when there were no audible jets, a prop plane flew nearby.

The glade with Glen Rose yucca

I have always liked the little Glen Rose yucca glade along the blue trail east of the boulders. The trees recede a little and there is space for yucca, grasses, and flowers. At 9:20am I sat for ten minutes under clear blue sky and bright sunshine watching a few insects and listening for birds (the Merlin app identified a bluebird and a cardinal). A male widow skimmer perched at the very top of a dry yucca stalk, with little dark-and-light-splotched cellophane-like wings sometimes fluttering in the breeze. Near the ground, the leaves of young sumac plants were drooping in the heat and drought, but the western ragweed and young stalks of Spanish gold looked fine.

The stink bug feeding on a flower

Further along the trail, small yellow flowers grew on gangly stalks alongside the trail. For many insects, this is the produce aisle, and I found a stink bug who had stabbed his little proboscis into the base of a flower in order to suck out the yummy fluids. All the “true bugs” have this kind of feeding arrangement. They may start by injecting saliva through that little straw, to keep the juices flowing. Then they suck out those juices.  

Trail map of Sheri Capehart Nature Preserve

From there, I went down to the crossroads where the yellow trail comes up from the pond and connects with the east-west blue trail. Several years ago, on the yellow trail, I wrote about coping with man-made noise for a book (coming next year) on mindfulness in nature. I wanted to see how much noise was present today. It’s a fairly quiet area, with a hill between me and the freeway, but I measured an average 41.9 dBA (maximum 48.1). I could perceive low highway noise and a small airplane. What I measured would be quieter than a refrigerator and a bit louder than a typical suburban area at night. Hardly what we typically think of as an annoying level of noise, but it tended to mask the sound of the northern mockingbird and northern cardinal that the Merlin app identified.

The trail back passed through some fine oak woodland, with sandy soil in which dewberries grow in places. In sunny openings, Texas bull nettle grows alongside a few Glen Rose yucca. The trunks of post oak and blackjack oak are the favorite playgrounds of the preserve’s Texas spiny lizards, and I saw three on the way down. These gravity-defying climbers hang head-down watching for insects to eat, and then in the blink of an eye they can turn and scamper up the other side of the trunk.

Differential grasshoppers on cattail

At about 10:30am I walked over to the fishing pond. By then it was hot and that idea of holing up somewhere with air conditioning was beginning to pull at me. But I wanted to see just a little more. Along the boardwalk, in the cattails growing at water’s edge, differential grasshoppers were clinging to those brown, hot-dog-shaped seed heads and I wondered if they were eating them. Not only am I seeking to find that out, I want to know the origin of the name “differential,” which always threatens to trigger recollections of college mathematics and differential equations. No, no – please let’s just stick to the grasshopper.

It was a couple of hours of peace in a beloved place. We link “peace and quiet” together often, recognizing that a certain amount of quiet is needed for a place to seem peaceful. There are many times when the preserve seems quiet, when we can hear breezes, bird song, and the calls of cricket frogs at the ponds. For an island of nature in the middle of the fourth biggest metropolitan area in the U.S., it’s pretty wonderful. I’m grateful for it.

Finding Beauty in Hot, Dry Places

On August 9, I needed to wander the preserve for a while. I can only confine myself indoors for so long, regardless of the heat, and the morning temperature was in the mild 80s. You could make the case that August is not the most beautiful time and certainly not the most comfortable time to be at the preserve. The case I wanted to make was that even in August you can find beauty, and in the midst of heat and drought you can be outside and be grateful for the experience.

But first, let’s acknowledge the basic facts. The Texas Tribune recently quoted our state climatologist saying, “Texas is running about 2 degrees Fahrenheit warmer than it did during the 20th century.” According to the National Weather Service (NWS), the average of the maximum temperatures last month in DFW was 99.8°F, compared to the normal average high which is 95.6°F. Today, the Dallas Morning News reports we have had 16 consecutive days with highs of 100°F or more, and there’s more to come.

And the lack of rainfall makes it more difficult. The NWS says the total amount of precipitation last month was 0.47 inches, while the normal for our hot, dry July is 2.08 inches. On the U.S. Drought Monitor map, much of Tarrant County is in “severe” drought.

That was the context for my walk on this morning, but I wasn’t visiting as a way of proving I could withstand heat and drought. At 8:45am it was not particularly hot, and I knew that it would be a good visit because it always is when I go there. What it takes is openness – not letting some aspects of the experience like heat or drought disqualify the good parts.

Spanish Gold

My first destination was the pollinator meadow, a small restoration prairie at the southern end of the preserve. It was very dry, but I enjoyed the diversity of forms and colors. There were green stalks of Spanish Gold with their sawtoothed leaves. At the top of one, a small yellow cone was encircled by a sort of lush green crown. It was a clear promise of a beautiful yellow flower in days to come. Near where I sat there was the grayish-green of a silverleaf nightshade with a few dull yellow fruits like marble-sized tomatoes. The western ragweed with their skinny-lobed leaves were also a dull green.

Illinois bundleflower

Scattered through parts of the meadow were Illinois bundleflower plants that might remind many of us of a miniature mimosa. Its leaves are “twice-pinnately compound,” meaning that the leaves have leaflets that in turn have leaflets. That is, the tiny things that look like leaves to us are arranged in a double row along a leaflet that itself branches off the leaf. After flowering, the plant produces seed pods in rounded brown bundles. But many of the bundleflowers are done for this year (they are perennials, so they’ll be back next year). Small patches of the meadow were rust-brown with the shriveled stems and leaves – and leaflets – of bundleflowers.

Shades of brown

Many of the grasses have given up on the aboveground life for now, leaving pale yellow skeletons. There were oats with small bone-white seeds hanging off to the side like little flags, and bunches of bluestem grass with tall, slender stalks ending in a short length of fuzzy seed head. Other plants, too, leave mementos of spring when green growth and flowers had their day. The gray-brown stiff remnants of hedge parsley lie in wait for anything passing through, human, dog, or wildlife. When we brush against those little oval seeds, their tiny hooks are like the most effective Velcro ever. A hiker can emerge from a patch of hedge parsley with a coating of seeds that they may never fully be rid of (and you might as well throw the socks away).

When I was done wandering in the pollinator meadow it was 84°F in the shade, and the breeze in that spot made it feel very welcoming. But at 9:22am it was just a little past time for me to go check on the “amphitheater” area by the fishing pond, preparing for an event planned in a few days.

A shrinking pond in the glare of the morning sun

I sat on the stone steps there with the morning sun beaming down on me, and the topography of the place really cut down on the breeze. The pond itself was drying and rimmed with bright reflected sunlight, and several people were fishing. I settled in that spot for ten minutes and it was really OK. I let go of any thoughts about it being hot and listened, watched, and felt the sun which was warm but not overpowering. Over and over again I was pulled to the pond’s surface, seeing how any breeze created such brilliant, sparkling lines or patches.

Male widow skimmer dragonfly

Dragonflies were thick around the pond margin, hovering and swooping. I heard a northern cardinal and a couple of other birds. The Merlin app identified that one plus a Carolina wren, blue jay, American crow, and barn swallow. Down along the boardwalk, on a chunk of wood resting on newly-exposed mud, a baby red-eared slider basked in the sunshine.

Juvenile red-eared slider basking beside the boardwalk

Maybe such small turtles are a good symbol of hope. Despite all the nests that predators rob, and the years of growth during which they’re not yet big enough (and shells not hard enough) to deter more predators, they go about their business as if they can be content regardless of life’s challenges. The little turtle in front of me balanced with body completely still and head slowly looking from side to side, exposing that little patch of crimson skin – the red “ear” – to the sun.

The Heat Dome, August 19

After a string of days above 100˚F, this day the high was predicted to be 108˚F. For the next nine days, the highs would all be above 100, mostly 105˚F or higher. I’d spend several days absorbed in reading about climate disruption and how people are increasingly experiencing anxiety, grief, sadness and even hopelessness about what lies ahead. This “eco-anxiety” has been an interest of mine for several years, and the reason for my recently being absorbed in it was an article I wrote for Green Source DFW.

And so on this morning I needed exercise as well as some time in nature, and so I walked at the preserve for a while, knowing that being there would not be an escape from climate concerns. Most of Tarrant County was in “extreme drought” and the preserve was full of tan, brown, and rust-colored leaves and stems from vegetation that had either given up on 2023 (with roots surviving underground) or died.

Greenbrier, when roasted in summer heat and drought, is burnt sienna instead of green

It was like autumn, just not happening at the time of year when days are shorter and cooler. In this false autumn, the bigger trees (especially the oaks that are adapted to periods of drought) still mostly had green leaves. The grasses and greenbriers were brittle and had the earth tones that they normally wear in autumn or winter. Prickly pear cacti were shriveled and becoming yellow or worse. 

Prickly pear in hard times

Up on the sandstone ridge, I found some shade and a place to sit for a while. In that shade, it was pleasant enough at 84˚F. The real heat would come later. There was little to hear except nearby traffic (50 dBA, similar to the volume of a quiet conversation), and the Merlin app detected no birdsong. I wrote a little and sat looking at this place that I’ve come to know pretty well in each of the seasons. 

It’s not that the preserve is dying. Leaves might be falling and we might be setting temperature records, but this place has seen some droughts and hot summers before. The creeping concern was whether next summer would be the same, with each year’s heat gradually ramping up. After all, climate scientists are telling us that even if we stopped dumping greenhouse gases into the atmosphere today, it would take some years for that climate freight train to slow down. What would be lost – what will be lost – as a hotter and drier climate shifts the Cross Timbers toward something more arid? What might we say to the lives that can no longer live here, or would the stresses of our own survival in a more difficult world shrivel and kill our compassion for any but the closest fellow humans?

I hope that doesn’t happen, because I believe that a broader compassion, inclusive of the plants and animals around us as well as the water and soil, is our only hope of learning to live on this planet with the humility and respect that makes life really worth living. 

I worked my way down the boulder trail (where Merlin still detected no birds) and around to the fishing pond. By now the sun was beating down on the pond as dragonflies raced from cattails down to the water’s surface and soared twenty feet above it. Several species were in motion, chasing, courting, mating, and dipping abdomens to brush the water’s surface and lay eggs. If the rest of the preserve seemed to have shut down, the dragonflies brought the pond to life with activity that couldn’t be contained. 

A Halloween pennant perched and ready to fly

It brought a bit of gratitude to my thoughts about the day’s visit. The preserve was alive, but much of its current life was hidden, sheltered, underground, hunkered down to survive the heat and drought. The dragonfly activity embodied life in ways we more easily relate to. I took photos and stood watching them longer than I intended, and the heat was building to the point that I really needed to go.

How we take for granted the safety and relative comfort of being outside. The privilege of playing outside, as long as we took water, sunscreen, and common sense, was easy even on most summer days. Now we have to retreat into air conditioned cars and homes. While some folks are well-adapted to indoors, TV, and so on, for many of us it was house arrest. We waited for an end to this heat dome in the atmosphere, hammering us with trapped heat. It was the mirror image of February 2021 when the arctic came to visit an unprepared Texas. And I was afraid that if our infrastructure failed, if we confronted this heat without the electricity that powers the air conditioners, we would see tragedies similar to what we saw then.

For now, I imagined end-of-summer rain storms and beautiful autumn days when a comfortable jacket felt just right. When they get here, we’ll celebrate!

A Little Relief at the Preserve

On August 28th, after all we’ve been through this summer, most of the oak trees still had leaves, and the ponds still had at least a little water. As I walked the trails up the hillside on this morning, the sand was damp and clumpy rather than parched and powdery as it had been for some time. That’s a result of the front that went through the night before, bringing cool breezes and brief rain. It wasn’t much, but it was very gratefully received.

Looking up through a post oak
The big pond still had water (along with an unaccustomed sandbar)

After I got to the ridge, I stopped to take in everything and write a little. At 9:40am the Arlington air quality was “good,” which was another first in what seemed like a long time. In the shade just above the ground it was 79.2°F and a muggy 74% humidity. The sound level averaged 47.8 dBA, fairly quiet but with the unavoidable sound of traffic and trucks at a nearby construction area. The Merlin app could detect no birds. The sky was completely clear and stepping out of the intense sunlight and into the shade felt good. But even in the sun, this was like normal summer, and I was sweating but not complaining.

Sunlight through oak leaves

Walking toward the boulder trail, I noticed the dried and toasted flowers and grasses. When these plants dry, the resulting forms seem delicate and attractive to me. They’re different from the way we see them in their prime; now they have no bright color but they have subtle and beautiful earth tones. And they stand in the searing sun, day after day, some of them gradually dispersing seed.

At the boulders, the temperature was 85°F, and sitting in the shade was delightful. I noticed the Christmas cactus or tasajillo that grows apparently right out of one of the boulders. This cactus is right at home in arid places in west Texas – who knows how it was brought to the preserve – and seems to be doing fine. Many shrubs, grasses, and flowers however are dormant (or dead) and dry as ash.

Sometimes we personify nature, calling it “welcoming” or “harsh.” Today it was welcoming and I was grateful to be here. I sat on a boulder that felt good – rippled but flat enough for easy sitting, strong and supportive and home to myriad beautiful lichens. The air was soft and warm, tempered by a breeze. When nature in this place has been “harsh,” it is not nature making it hard to be here, it is often us. Despite our wrecking the climate, nature still allows us to come here, to be restored, to witness changes, and to be part of this little bit of the Eastern Cross Timbers.

Elsewhere along the trail, some hardy plant species were still going. Bitterweed still had a few of those bright yellow flowers, and on one of them I spotted a little bug (not just an insect but a true bug) that iNaturalist thinks is in a family of scentless plant bugs. So another insect that sinks a straw-like proboscis into the plant and feeds on the fluids.

Before leaving, I walked down to the fishing pond, out onto the deck. Along the way, a hodgepodge of plants was still green and even blooming. A bumblebee crawled deep into the purple flowers of some of them. Dragonflies swooped and hovered. I spooked what was likely a little blue heron that flew away with several protesting squawks. And the Merlin app finally detected birds – a northern cardinal and a Carolina wren. Adding to the life of the pond, I spotted a couple of red-eared sliders. One of these turtles was an old male whose colors had been obscured and darkened (melanistic), basking on a chunk of wood at water’s edge. The pond was the place to be; truly, water is life.

Melanistic red-eared slider at the fishing pond

But all of the preserve was a good place to be on this day. Over the years, I’ve become connected to this place, with connections anchored in recognition, affection, and on nurturing and protection. Such a relationship calls for visiting it in easy times but also in times that are difficult.

September 12 – Resilience After an Abusive Summer

After three months with record heat and significant drought, the first couple of days of September had highs of only 98°F, and on the third day 0.2 inches of rain fell. But then it rolled back up to days that reached 104, 105, and then a record-setting 110°F on the eighth. Then it dropped, with the high on the 12th reaching 83°F. There were eleven more days of summer before the autumn equinox.

Everyone I knew was hoping that we were done with heat warnings and appeals to use less electricity and keep the grid from failing. Everyone was hoping for rain. A friend had to close his small-scale business raising and selling plants (but will re-open). By mid-August, Harris County had seen 15 heat-related deaths, and Dallas was investigating 40 deaths as possibly heat-related.

Who decided to walk away from the summers we remember that brought so much joy? And who invited in the drunken, abusive season that we hope is now ending? Like kids trapped in the household and made to live with this out of control climate, we wonder if he will come back next year? So much that was reassuringly dependable is gone.

Today I visited the preserve in the early afternoon. At 83°F, with clouds and a breeze, it felt like a different place than the toaster oven I had been visiting only in the mornings. The heat had been like an occupying force that punished anyone venturing out in the afternoon. This day was starkly different, easy and welcoming.

In normal summers, it becomes hot and dry, and many grasses and flowering plants become dormant. This time, those plants were withered and dry and it appeared that many trees were stressed by drought. Walking up the hillside, the ground was covered with fallen leaves in various shades of brown. At one point the breeze blew the leaves in a flurry along the trail, and it felt like a scene from late autumn. However, some midstory plants hung on in pale green and many of the oaks had beautiful green leaves.

The Texas spiny lizard waiting to ambush insects on the tree trunk, the pair of Carolina chickadees calling back and forth in the woodland near the ridge, and the blue jay hopping among the tree branches made it seem like we had turned a corner, and life was returning. I found yellow flowers of camphorweed and bitterweed, and a pale violet flower of an aster. Signs of resilience were everywhere, alongside the dried and dormant plants.

Perhaps summer was over, with mild days and some rainfall ahead. What would we do with that? Breathe a sigh of relief and move on, thinking that the summer was a one-time aberration and now we are back to normal? We all deserve to feel some relief, to enjoy comfortable temperatures. But many of us, in recent years, have shaken off extreme heat and drought or arctic freezing blasts as one-offs. Once it’s over, it is back to normal, expecting things to be the way they used to be. After all, the weather has always been variable, right?

Science makes very clear that the extreme events are trending upward, with crazy weather happening more frequently. Fires everywhere, ocean temperatures like bathwater, nature pushed beyond the limits of its ability to adapt, floods, people dying. “Normal” or average is shifting in a more dangerous direction. That doesn’t mean we should spend our days consumed by worry about a future of drought and unnatural heat. When people are convinced that there is no hope, that nothing can be done, they give up and do nothing. (Fossil fuel corporations love that!) What is the middle ground between denial and despair?

If denial is turning away, refusing to see no matter what, and despair is constantly seeing and drowning in it, the middle ground probably involves being able to see it when it counts while able to turn away at other times. We can experience the rest of the world, see beauty, and recognize possibilities for a better future. Not that such a thing is easy. For some of us, visiting a beautiful place in nature raises the question, “How long until this, too, is ruined?” The very thing that could be a respite from worry becomes a trigger. It also seems that evidence for possible better futures is limited and not so easily seen.

It has been seventeen years since the movie “An Inconvenient Truth” slammed us back in the theater seats with a combination of science and “see for yourself” visuals. In all the years since, with all the international meetings and accords, there have been far more good words than meaningful actions. For those in power (I include here the fossil fuel industry, which exerts as much power as do politicians), the future of a livable planet is weighed against disrupting the status quo, and the planet never seems to win. The catastrophe just gets worse.

Perhaps this sheds some light on the recent findings of a survey of young people ages 16-25 in which more than half said that humanity is “doomed.” That’s the sort of thing you have to read twice and sit and think about. What does it mean that potentially over half of young people feel that sort of hopelessness? How can society even move forward if substantial numbers of youth see no livable future? And will Exxon shareholder profit still be more important than those concerns?

With all of that, how do we protect ourselves from despair? We can find hope (while avoiding blind optimism) in the book, Not Too Late. I was drawn to it because Rebecca Solnit is co-editor – along with Thelma Young Lutunatabua – and I had read one of her earlier books, Hope in the Dark. She makes a compelling case for seeing possibilities for change and not losing sight of the times when we have made progress. Not that the future is rosy, but that the future does contain possibilities for us to make things better.

In this more recent book, Solnit says, “To hope is to accept despair as an emotion but not as an analysis.” She goes on to remind us that there have been plenty of times that people with little power have come together to create movements that made change happen. And the book contains what it calls “An Extremely Incomplete List of Climate Victories.” In 1974 the Chipko movement of rural Indian people (mostly women) saved a forest from loggers by encircling the trees – “hugging” them – to protect them. In succeeding years there were events like activists shutting down the World Trade Organization meeting in 1999, the Ecuadoran court finding against Chevron in 2011 awarding damages to Indigenous people, the fossil fuel divestment movement that has removed trillions in investment from fossil fuel companies, the growth of solar power capability, and so on.  

We should listen to the message that we are not as powerless as we feel as long as we work together. We should also stay closely connected to places in nature. Being in nature offers beauty and awe and restores our bodies and spirits. That is one of the reasons you’ll often find me in places like Sheri Capehart Nature Preserve. That place and several others sustain me and remind me to look for signs of resilience in the face of hard times.

Trailing fuzzybean, seen at the preserve